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Here we go again.
May 9, 2009

Détente Declared in Mouse War to End All Mouse Wars

There is a mouse problem in these barracks, presumably caused by dirty, nasty Soldiers. However, since I never leave any food out, I was spared during the worst of the fighting. All that changed a week ago, when at least one mouse was brazen enough to conduct cross-border operations within my quarters. The Congress unanimously declared war immediately.

However, hostilities ceased as of 091815RMAY2009 after I discovered the Cockroach Corpse of Media Center Pass had disappeared. The Cockroach Corpse had been there for months, only visible to those who knew it existed, and nearly inaccessible. The current assessment is that a mouse made off with it. HUMINT reporting suggests mice can keep cockroaches at bay.

Seeing as I how I had to fight (and win) the Battle Against the Cockroach Militia, the Battle Against the Drain Flies, and the Battle Against Antganistan after my arrival here last year, I am reluctant to reengage the Cockroach Militia alone if the Mouse Army can be convinced to do it for me. Besides, I was growing concerned mice bait could invite a resurgence of the Antiban forces.

For now, I’m willing to tolerate minor mouse-type territorial incursions if it means I don’t have to take on the Cockroach Militia or the Antiban again this summer. Now, if the Mouse Army starts targeting wiring or clothing or introducing fleas and ticks, well then it’s on. It’s on like Donkey Kong. I support the Powell Doctrine, just so you know.

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